I woke up the next morning with Brendon’s arms wrapped tight around me, and his light breathing in my ear. I slowly turned over so I was facing him, and then kissed his slightly parted lips. He opened his eyes and breathed deeply, and then he smiled at me and kissed me back. We got up and put on our pajamas, realizing we had fallen asleep in our boxers, and then headed out of Brendon’s room to get some coffee and breakfast. As I was walking over to the coffee machine Brendon grabbed my hand, and began swinging our hands back and forth.
“ Uh oh, why’s Brendon so happy?” Spencer laughed, although Brendon and I didn’t really take it as a joke, he dropped my hand, and I filled up a mug with coffee, then joined Spencer and Brendon at the table. Brendon held my hand underneath the table, doing our little rub, squeeze, and return thing with me. Spencer coughed.
“ Sorry.”
“ No prob, your fine.” I said back, and then took a gulp of my coffee. I stared to think, when my mother died, I would be the only one left of my family, the only Ross, and how convenient that I was gay, therefore I could not have children. Well, I could adopt, but how screwed up would the child be, being raised by gay parents? Why was I thinking about this? I guessed, if I didn’t do something then my family would end, how strange.
“ Ry? You with us?” Brendon waved his free hand in front of my face.
“ Yeah, sorry I was just thinking…” Jon finally came out of his room, yawned stretched, then got some coffee and breakfast and joined the table.
“ So what’s up?”
“ Ryan was thinking!” Spencer said sarcastically. Everyone laughed, even me, a little.
“ Shut up.” I said, almost blushing.
“ ‘Bout what?” Brendon asked.
“ Huh? Shut up about, me being…stupid.” I said, confused.
“ No I mean, what were you thinking about?” I almost started to blush again.
“ Heh heh, nothing important.” I said, scratching the back of my head.
“Come on, if it wasn't important, you can tell us.” Jon egged on, thinking that it was just joking round with friends, too bad I was thinking about something pretty deep. I closed my eyes and rubbed my face with one hand.
“ I was just thinking about how I’m the only one left of my family, I mean when my mom dies, I will be the only Ross left. And I was thinking that, if I don’t ya know, adopt or something, then my family will be over completely.” This was getting awkward, way awkward, Brendon could tell and gave my hand a little squeeze of encouragement.
“ So wait, you're not going to get married to a woman?” Jon asked.
“ Well, no, I’m gay…” Hadn’t we talked about this?
“ Well yeah but I mean, cant you like, grow out of it, or something?” Spencer asked me.
“ No, I was born like this and this is how I am.” I felt really uncomfortable now, why did we have to talk about this?
“ Really? Wow that kinda sucks, so you couldn’t even choose to like girls…? Or like, you can’t stop it?”
“ Guys, shut up okay? This is kind of rude, I mean its fine to ask questions but really, back off.” Brendon came to my rescue, he could tell I was nervous and he knew what to say to make them stop, he was the best boyfriend ever.
“ Sorry, we’re just curious, there’s so much we don’t know, sorry.” Spencer apologized.
“ It’s fine guys, thank you Bren.” I said, Brendon smiled at me.
“ Hey sorry, do your parent-, mom even know your gay?” Jon asked.
“ No, neither did my dad.” I said with chagrin.
“ You should tell her, right now.” Spencer said, “ Call her.”
“ That’s kinda something you would tell your parents in person,” Brendon said, “ I mean, what a pleasant call, hey mom thought I’d call you, just wanted to tell you I’m gay and I’ve been hiding it for like, all my life ha-ha!” Brendon made a (cute) disgusted face.
“ Brendon, do your parents know that you're gay?” Jon asked.
“ Well, no.”
“ Guys, after this tour is over, only three more states, you should go tell your parents.” My heartbeat accelerated, I swallowed hard, just thinking about it made me nervous.
“ I don’t know how well that would blow over on my end…” Brendon said biting his lip.
“ Yeah, I don’t know.” I said. Brendon started biting his lips harder, ripping off little pieces, until his bottom one started to bloom with blood; he put it in his mouth and sucked the blood off.
“ Careful Bren, you already have scabs.” I said, looking at his lips, three little scabs dotted his lips; they would often break open when he was singing, and so his lips were in a slightly bad condition.
“ I know, sorry.” Blood began to leak from his lip again, and I leaned forward, and licked it off.
“ Eww.” Said Jon.
“ Sorry.” I apologized. Brendon laughed, then turned to me and gave me a peck on the lips. Jon and Spencer looked awkward and started to get up to leave.
“ No wait, sorry ha ha. We’ll stop.” Brendon smiled abashedly.